The French etiquette about pouring wine

Do you … or don’t you? 

Have you ever gone to reach for another glass of wine as a guest at a French table and wondered why you're being 'looked at' . . . 

Today, you discover a little snippet of French etiquette about pouring wine:

• The important table etiquette regarding pouring your wine at a French table
• How to avoid annoying your host concerning the wine bottle
• Why the French ask you what’s on the menu when you invite them  

What to bring as a guest for a French meal?

Let’s rewind a little . . . 

So you’re excited, and who wouldn’t be - you’re invited to your French friend’s table for an evening meal. 

Now, wanting to be a good guest, you start thinking how you can pitch it just right. 

It’s a good idea to take a gift of some kind. You find something just right . . . home made cake, a book, something you’ve grown from the garden, and decide to take a bottle of wine - there’s a nice looking one on the rack . . . 

You get a call - it’s your friend - she’s just checking the time is ok for you - apéro at 7:30pm. She informs you of everything they’re eating during the meal. You feel proud of yourself that you coped with the conversation in French. 

Excited about the delicious sounding French menu, you double check your gift is ok. 

The French étiquette about wine.

On arrival, you nervously present your gift and it is gratefully received.  You practise your best French and explain what your gift is all about.

Your French survives the apéro. The wine flows - it’s summer and you enjoy a delicious rosé.

And then it’s time for the meal. Your French friend explains some etiquette - she told you what was on the menu so that you could choose just the right wine to go with her carefully prepared meal.

(Ahem...) Your wine offering is discreetly placed on the side table . . . 

The dishes are served and you really enjoy their wine. Your glass is empty yet there is food on your plate. You’d really love another glass of wine - it’s so yummy..  And the bottle is just there . . . right in front of you. 

Your hand reaches out and you’re just about to pick it up . . .

You’re stopped! 

"Permettez-moi" 

From the other end of the table, your host’s husband gets up and pours you the wine you’re longing for. And you think it’s just a really polite gesture.

But there’s more to it! 

The Dos and the Don'ts about pouring wine.

Situations are different, but there’s still tradition and etiquette.  If you break them, it really might not matter: you might stimulate a raised eyebrow and a giggle over what to do or what not to do at the French table.

But actually, you shouldn’t have gone for the wine. Not at a table where etiquette matters.  And how can you tell? 

Observe how your host opened the wine. It may already have been opened to breathe. You might just have seen them run the knife on the opener over the rim of the bottle. Then slice off the top of the cover.  Just the top part.

Quite frankly, I have often pushed the screw through the plastic, or ripped the whole thing off. 

But to respect the quality of the wine in public, leave the label part on. If you see that, it’s either a habit and they don’t realise . . . or there’s table etiquette in play. 

Interestingly, on language learning - your emotions are vital in language acquisition. I was going over some of my studies and came across Ely, Horwitz et al again (1986).

They put it perfectly: “anxious learners tend to freeze up”.

Don’t we just know that.

And there’s more: Reading Onwuegbuzie et al’s studies in 2000, they confirm what we already feel: “anxiety interferes with cognitive processing”.

So we just can’t recall what we’ve been studying.  I call it brain freeze.

So back to the bottle - just don’t touch it, unless you’re admiring the harmony with the carefully prepared food. Leave it to your host.  And normally your host will have several bottles of different wines, each to accompany the carefully prepared dishes of the night.  No wonder we love being a guest at the French table! 

So don’t worry - Your host will be alert to your empty glass and will serve you soon. And if you relax, in the knowledge of even the simplest of etiquette, chances are, you’ll have far more flowing and satisfying conversations.

A lot of fuss, you might say? Maybe! 

And if you’re roughing it over a couple of takeaway pizzas together - does it matter? Somehow, your French host manages to still choose just the right wine! Listen out for ‘sers-toi’  . . . or be prepared to notice that brain freezing raised eyebrow.

Bon appétit tout le monde.