Say you feel awful in French without sounding negative

Have you ever been asked “Comment allez-vous ?” or “Comment ça va ?” and wanted to actually say “Errr I feel dreadful” and then want to launch into why?

Instead . . .you say “Not too bad, considering…” And we don’t actually say any more. We stop. 

We don’t often reveal how bad we feel because we worry that people will start to steer clearing clear of us, leaving us to suffer in silence.  So that’s just what we end up doing - staying silent. 

So how DO we respond and invite someone to hear the actual truth without sending yourself into the abyss of social rejection?!  

I laugh heartily at Comedian Bill Bailey who has many followers roaring with laughter as he recognises the British mentality of always stating that things are just “Not baaaad!” or “Could be better!” whatever the feelings inside. We are clearly a nation of silent sufferers. 

So how do we do that in French and explain how we feel and still want people to maintain engagement in the conversation rather than run a mile, jump a stile, or eat a country pancake? 

 In this mini-lesson, you’ll discover:

• How “Comme-ci, comme-ça” can be a conversation opener
• How you can respond to someone who says this to you
• How you can say you feel awful without sounding negative

Basic French question to ask how you feel.

Let’s start with the question you would ask anyone each time you see them.

If you know the person, you’ll ask

• Comment vas-tu ?  >>> How are you?

Another variation while speaking:

• Comment tu vas ?  >>> How are you?

Note that only your intonation will indicate that it’s a question is that last one there.

Now, if you don’t know the person and wish to show respect for the age or social status (let’s say the president for instance…), you will opt for this formula:

• Comment allez-vous ?  >>> How are you? 

This one is more formal. And the following one a bit less: 

• Comment vous allez ?  >>> How are you? 

Finally, if you want the general way to ask the very same question, you could say this one: 

• Comment ça va ?  >>> How are you? 

You shouldn’t in any case translate word for word since we are using the verb aller (to go).

Let’s have a look at the possible answers. If you feel very well, here are some possible answers for you:

• Ça va   >>> I’m ok
• Ça va bien / Je vais bien  >>> I’m great

• Ça va très bien / Je vais très bien  >>> I’m very well

• Je suis en forme   >>> I’m in a good shape
• Super, merci !  >>> Great! Thanks!

But if it’s not the case and you feel awful, you could say this without sounding negative:

• Comme-ci, comme ça   >>> So-so

By the way, native speakers like students love this expression.

2 expressions in French to tone up and return.

Sometimes, you don’t want to be the center of attention, especially if you’re not feeling well. Feel free to quote these 2 expressions to deflect:

• Comme-ci, comme ça. Ça dépend du jour. Et toi / vous ? Comment ça va ?  >>> So-so. It depends on the day. And you?

Basically, you are saying that there are good days and bad days, just like the other expression:

• Il y a des jours avec, il y a des jours sans. Et toi/ vous ?   >>> There are good days and bad days. And you?

Which one would you be inclined to use?

How to tone up and invite in French.

With the same idea, not only do you prefer to avoid talking about you having a bad day, but you turn the focus on the other person.

These are 3 ways to achieve this:

• Oula la laaa…où est-ce que je commence ? (tu ris) Tu veux savoir de X ou Y ? >>> Woah…where do I start? (you laugh a little) Do you want to know about X or Y ? 

or this one:

• (no answer) Mais…il fait beau… >>> - but it’s a good day!

or even this short one:

• Et toi vous ? À toi / vous ! >>> And you? Come on - your turn!

Go beyond and start your conversation in French.

Let’s imagine you’ve mentioned that you’re not feeling well. What you want to do in order to keep the conversation going is with a strategy. Here are some ideas for you:

First, you could pay a compliment so you go back to the person in a positive way:

• J’adore votre veste / sac… c’est trop joli ! >>> I love your jacket / bag…it’s so cute!

Then, you could focus on the weather…

• Oula quelle chaleur ! C’est normal…? >>> Oh what a heat! It’s normal…

Still with the weather, but now you ask for ideas: 

• Qu’est-ce qu’on peut faire quand il fait ce temps ? >>> What can you do with this weather?

Another solution is to ask for advice on something:

• Où est la pharmacie la plus proche ce soir…/ vous recommandez cette baguette ?  >>> Where’s the nearest chemistry tonight…/ Do you recommend this baguette?

What you could also do is find a point of contact like this example:

• Savez-vous quand sera le prochain repas communal dans le village ? >>> Do you know when the next local meal in the village is?

Overall, whenever you do not want to be rude and you are truly feeling unwell, you have access to some expressions like comme-ci, comme-ça or il y a des jours avec, il y a des jours sans, ça dépend des jours… Otherwise, you can shift the attention to the person asking you how you are. 

Remember to keep the tone positive - too downbeat and the conversation tends to struggle to get positive again. 

You can always distract by talking about the weather or any other gossip. Even better if you pay a compliment, request some advice or mention a positive aspect.

Try the new expressions and see how people react. It’s the best way to improve your immersion. If you have any questions, I’d love to hear them.